I feel on edge and jittery and I can’t really tell you specifically why. It’s like a nervous energy, I think it’s probably the exercise as ironically I am doing more since lockdown that I have done in years! We do Joe Wicks again because it’s Friday, but we do it a bit later at 10am. He really is too chirpy, and I am re-thinking my plans of swapping him for the Husband. Husband finishes work at 1:30pm today and I am counting the minutes down for a window of peace. I just need to keep the happy little people occupied till lunchtime. We do a few work sheets, which the children enjoy and the Twins facetime my mum to read a book.
I make them lunch and Husband takes over. Within minutes he’s snapped at the repetitive questions, which both amuses and slightly comforts me, as it’s not just me that finds them irritating at times. It seems like it’s always me moaning and he will often tell me off, or to cheer up, or my favourite, to just get over it because they are children. Therefore, I can’t lie, when he has spent less than 30 minutes with them and he is snapping and shouting too, I feel less of a rubbish parent. I think of them like excited wasps around a leftover ice cream. Not deterred by the swatting or waving, just eyes set on the prize. The happy little people are so oblivious to their parents’ moodiness, they are so resilient and genuinely happy in life. Which is a positive and I feel like, between Husband and I, because he is a really good parent, we have got something right in this game of life.
Husband takes them out on their scooters and it is really nice to be in the house alone. It gives me a chance to do some admin, pay some bills, reply to some emails. And to generally slow down. I need to come out of hyper alert mode but know from previous experience that sometimes coming out can make me more anxious. Bit like a wasp not sure where it’s next ice cream is coming from. I need to be more like the aloof Cat.
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