Last night I needed to go to the supermarket to get some shopping for my mum. She is classed as vulnerable and is self isolating solo. I don’t like going to the supermarket in these times, but there is no possibility of a delivery slot because they are inundated and I don’t like sending Husband as even though he tries, he returns with a lot of food that either has no nutritional value or we don’t actually eat. And he gets the wrong apples, and now I have a lot of them to eat before I can replace them. So I brace myself and decide to wear gloves, I arm myself with hand gel and the mantra ‘don’t touch your face’. I go quite late in the evening as I find it is fairly quiet and there is still stock on the shelves. Most people abide by the two- metre social distancing, but there is always one or two who practically brush past. I am distracted and lost in thought thinking about what I need and without thinking I rub my nose with my hand. Well, that’s it, I’m having an internal meltdown in my head which lasts all night and all day today. I’ve got the virus. I wiped my nose and I’ve touched items within the supermarket, so I’ve contaminated myself. I am mortified and genuinely distressed. It puts a complete downer on my evening and most of today.
I wake this morning and find, much to my surprise that the Twins like each other today. Sometimes this happens and they realise they are lucky to have each others company, agree on some form of imaginative play and amuse themselves. The problem is these moments are rare and you never know when they are going to happen. I take advantage and get myself sorted, have breakfast and do some washing. We are booked in for a video call with friends, my A’level English tutor and his wife, who I have stayed in touch with over the years. They have added my children to their vast list of various nieces, nephews and grandchildren. All three of my happy little people read to them, it’s a success all round. Our next instalment will be the adults reading to the children and some suitable English work set for the children to report back with. I do feel very lucky to have the distance support with the children’s education in this time. My neighbour returned the Ukulele tuned, along with some seed trays for the garden work. If nothing else, this time organically creates connection and community.
I know we are all experiencing loss at the moment, selfishly my loss comes in the form of child free time and the yoga and Pilates classes that I had started to regularly attend since October last year. Thankfully both of my tutors have now set up online classes and I managed to claim the lounge to do a Pilates class for the first time in weeks. It was nice to do so, and I hope I can find a new regular pattern for this. For me, to re-establish some of this time for myself will enable me to cope. That and group video calls with friends who are honest when it’s all bit rubbish sometimes.
Like many, we have engaged with the art of rainbows and colouring displayed from the windows of the house for others to see when passing. I found an NHS poster online for us all to colour. Like the majority of the world, I am very grateful for all of the people who are classed as key workers in this time.
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